Family Constellations and Stone Readings

We all live in systems, that are basically fields of being and interaction, also known as morpho-genetic fields, as termed by research scientist Dr. Rupert Sheldrake. These fields surround and penetrate our physical and energy bodies, and serve as containers for our interactions with one another. The field that contains the interactions of a family is known as the Family System.

Family Constellations or Systemic Family Therapy was developed by German therapist, Bert Hellinger. Having lived with the Zulus in South Africa for ten years as a Jesuit priest, Hellinger realized that their way of approaching illness included much more than just addressing the individual, but rather involved the family and sometimes even the tribe as a whole. He went on to create this method, after studying Gestalt therapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and other traditional and non-traditional therapeutic approaches. 

Family Constellations works on the premise that there are unspoken and unconscious laws that operate in any given system. When these laws are violated and the system is compromised, as the result of unnatural or untimely death, or other traumatic events, the members of the system try to “right” it, so to speak, by unconsciously aligning with the victims of the trauma, be it from one or many generations back. Sometimes we align ourselves with the perpetrators as well, not as the result of any conscious decision, but rather to provide the system with the means to right itself. Unfortunately, although we choose these alignments unconsciously from a place of love, and not out of egoic pride or rebellion, the system is rarely corrected through our unconscious alignments. What these alignments do offer, however, is the opportunity to be seen as key elements to be realigned. Family Constellations makes the connections and disconnections in the system visible by representing certain members of the system and inviting them to interact with each other. It is through these interactions, led by the facilitator, that the family system is able to “see”, through the eyes of the person whose field is represented, that amends are made and wounds are healed. 

How is it done?

Family Constellations is generally practiced in a group setting. The person who is “working” chooses among those present several people to represent individuals in their system, including themselves, and has them stand in relation to each other, however that person sees fit. The representatives literally “step into” a field that they know nothing about and begin to feel what the person they represent may have felt at one time. Keep in mind that whether the people represented are still of this world or not, the energy field remains intact. With the help of the facilitator, the representatives begin to interact with each other. Although not every constellation culminates in a perfect realignment of the family system, there is almost always a change that happens and that is perceived by those still living in that system. For example, a woman who had not spoken with her brother for the past 20 years got a phone call from him, just one week after her constellation. These types of examples abound, and personally I have experienced profound changes in my own family dynamics thanks to this work.

I spent two years, from 2008 – 2010, training with Andrea Bosbach, a German social worker who had worked extensively with one of Bert Hellinger’s students. Her system differed from Hellinger’s in that she used colored mats to represent the members of the family system, that the people from the group would be chosen to step onto. In this way, the identity of the people being represented was unknown, so the mind had nothing to stand on, allowing the energies to come through the representatives in a more pure and exact manner than when more information is known.  As an example, during a constellation I participated in, when I stepped onto the mat and was asked what I was feeling, my initial response came out in French (I happen to be fluent in French). After the constellation, when the participant was asked to share (a voluntary sharing, never an obligation) who was who, she said that I was her grandfather, who was born and raised in Paris, France. 

Stone Readings:

The way I practice Family Constellations may be too far from the original version to be given that name, but it works on the exact same principle: representing members of a system to render their interactions visible. I represent them with objects; mainly crystals, stones, wooden figures, etc. The person working chooses the objects to represent themselves, and one or several other members of the system, and places them in a way that portrays how they see the relationships. Working with these elements, we are able to disentangle some of the dynamics that are keeping the person stuck or in a place of discomfort, which by the same token settles the energy in the family system.

Family Constellations Therapy is one of the most effective and powerful therapeutic tools I have had the privilege to experience and practice. The Stone Readings that I offer are based on traditional Family Constellations and can be very effective at resolving issues that tend to resist resolution. Please contact me at the number below to set up your session.

Stone Reading based on Family Constellations: $144